The downside of being an expatriate

There's an amazing array of benefits that go along with being relocated to a foreign country, especially one like the U.K. -- not too foreign (at least we knew the language) and so close to Europe. We love that our daughters are being exposed to people from many different backgrounds, cultures, and religions. We're thankful for the opportunity to live in a different land, with different routines and customs and lifestyles. (I don't know if I even remember how to drive a car, given that I've been on foot for the past 2.5 years!) It rocks that we are so close to Europe, and that going to France is nearly as easy as (in our Seattle days) taking a roadtrip to the Oregon Coast.

It took a long time for us to find our rhythm over here. English people aren't known for their warm-fuzziness, so until Natalia started school, we didn't have any "real" friends to speak of. Now that we're well into Year Three of our London ex-pat experience, we're feeling quite settled. Natalia is happy at school, and Helena and I keep busy with coffee dates and playgroups, running errands and managing the household. Monte works constantly, but his business trips are usually quite short, and we have a lot of good-quality family time at weekends and during school holidays. We don't have gaggles of friends, but we do have real ones now -- the kinds of friends we know we'll have forever.

So what's the downer? Let's just say that during three years as an ex-pat, one quickly moves from "newcomer" status to "veteran." So many people, especially in our area, move in, get connected, move on to another country, or move back home. It's a thrill to meet someone new and to realize, aha!, we have a lot in common and we could be great friends. But in the back of your mind, you know your time is probably limited. You know (or at least you learn, eventually) that you have to seize the moments you are given. You have to reach out, you have to invest the time and effort and energy, you have to love the people who stumble into your life.

Thus far I haven't known anyone well enough to feel true sadness when moving-home-time arrives. But this month, my two closest American friends announced that they'll be moving home in early August. I always knew this would happen, but I don't think it will truly sink in until after we've returned from our summer holiday in the States and we attempt to return to our normal English routines. I know that new people will move into Richmond and fill the (physical) spaces left by my dear friends Masu and Tallie. But the spaces they have occupied in my heart can only ever be filled by their friendship.

Best of luck, you dear people -- Tallie, Tom, Martha & Charlotte, moving back to California; and Masu, Badar, Raiya & Sana -- starting a new life in Houston. Love you madly!